the crossroads of should and must
I just quit my full time job almost 2 months ago. Logically, this seems like a stupid decision. Life isn't always logical though. I just knew it was time to take a risk and leave my financial security. I should have taken the risk years ago, but I just never felt confident about it. I didn't think I deserved to be able to work for myself, and sometimes I still have to fight to remind myself that I do deserve it. Everyone deserves to follow their dreams. But, I still have to make money every month, and I have no idea what my next step is supposed to be.
My entire life I have lived in this tension between who I am and who I'm supposed to be. I have never felt like I'm living up to my full potential, but I've also never had a clear picture of what it is I'm supposed to do with my life. This has resulted in me struggling a lot with why I'm on this earth. For a while, I thought I had no purpose. Two years ago I thought if I disappeared tomorrow no one would notice. I thought my life did not matter. I don't think that anymore, though. Through a lot of struggle and help from friends and counselors, I figured out a way to keep on living. I decided that I'm alive for a reason, but I still don't know what that reason is. Regardless, I'm trying to rest in the promises I feel I've been given.
The Crossroads of Should And Must by Elle Luna really helped me when I was making the decision to quit or not. This book is Elle's story of deciding for herself if she was going to stay at her job that paid her well, or if she was going to follow her passion and try to make it as a painter. Should is how other people want you to live. It's the expectations and obligations put on us by other people and our society. Must is who you are at your core. It's your most authentic self. All of us come to this crossroads many times in our lives, and every time we have to choose either Should or Must. Elle tells us the things she's learned in choosing her Must over and over again.
This book is creative and colorful and full of watercolor quotes. There's nothing I love more than the perfect quote. You can't help but fall in love with this book. If you're like me and are trying to follow your heart, or you just want to be inspired, please pick up this book! It's insightful, helpful, and beautiful in every way. The Crossroads of Should And Must, along with so many other books, helped me quit my job and chase my dreams. I'm grateful for Elle and so many others who have been brave enough to push their art out into the world. It's because of all of you that people like me can find the courage to do the same.