In May I wrote a post titled “losing dreams.” It was about coming to terms with the fact that the dream you’ve had your whole life isn’t going to fulfill you the way you hoped it would, and what to do next. If you want to read it, it’s here.
This post is somewhat of a sequel to that. This post is about making new dreams.
We’ve been in Portland for three months now. Three months already! Can you believe it? But to be honest, the transition has been anything but fun. And I’ve been trying to figure out why. I’ve come up with two reasons so far. The first is that it feels almost as if I’ve been in transition for nearly three years. It feels almost as if we never settled into New York City because I always knew it wasn’t permanent. Being in transition for so long can be tiring emotionally and mentally. But then again, part of me thinks maybe all of life is just transition. We go through so many changes because it’s even more suffocating to be stagnant. That’s another conversation for another day.
The second though, is that New York was my dream for so long that once it was accomplished, I didn’t know what else I was working toward. I didn’t know what other long-term dreams I had. I felt stalled in every area of my life - career, friends, places. I didn’t know what to do. And Portland didn’t magically fix any of that. Which is obvious but don’t you just wish sometimes?
I decided to go back to the drawing board to find some new dreams. I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes it’s okay to rest and to simply be for awhile. Whether you fulfilled a dream or you lost a dream, or both, sometimes you just need a minute to breathe. But then at some point, you have to start dreaming again because you need it. We have to create life or we stagnate. That’s it.
So I’m sharing my big ish dreams. Some of them are pretty small in comparison to others, but all of them are helping me move forward - step by step. As Elizabeth Gilbert said in Big Magic, her book on creativity: “onward ever, backward never.”
My New Dreams:
live in London/England
write a book or two
travel the world while making films
prioritize financial freedom
speak multiple languages fluently
focus on self-care, exercise, etc.
quit something every month - for example, sugar
do the things that terrify me - bungee jumping, etc.
become a stand up paddle boarder
Some of the dreams are a little vague for now, but that’s okay. They’re in the beginning stages and at least I have a list now! So, what’s on your list? Or have you thought about it recently? Maybe you should refresh your dreams. Onward ever, backward never.