quiet work

i had all kinds of aspirations for this journal in 2019. and here we are, in the fourth month of the year already (excuse me, what?), and i haven’t even started. so it goes.

i think resolutions and goals are great, and you should definitely set some for yourself. but i always get caught up in the ideal. i feel like i can take on the world when i can’t even take care of myself. after i created my goals magazine for 2019, and after i decided i was going to conquer everything, i set it all aside because i knew what i actually needed to do was make sure i wake up every day.

i still get those feelings of inadequacy sometimes, like i’m not doing enough. i wish i could speed up the healing process. but in order to accomplish what you want to accomplish, you have to be able to take it all on. and you can’t take it on if you’re not healthy. so even though it’s felt like i’m not working toward my dreams at all, i’ve been quietly working on being able to hold my dreams again - and don’t let yourself fool you into thinking that’s not important work.

we tend to feel like we have to live out loud. we’re told we’re no one if no one is listening to us. but that couldn’t be further from the truth. i think what most of us really need is to embrace living quietly. not everything needs to be shouted from the mountains. sometimes all we need to do in order to heal is get quiet and listen to ourselves. quit reading every self-help book you can get your hands on, quit cramming all the noise from this world into your brain. sit quietly and listen to your breathing, listen to your heart. i believe it already knows the answer. all we have to do is hear it.

so i wanted you to know i’m over here doing the quiet work of reinventing myself. and i don’t know exactly when i’ll be ready, but i can feel myself inching my way out of the spirals. and i know it likely feels the same for you. just know you’re doing the most important work you could possibly be doing. don’t worry about what the world tells you. listen to your soul.